Last Updated on March 26, 2020 by Ade Aprilia
I thought this is the perfect time to write about the subject of Love.
People keep wondering why we feel great when we
The real question for me was:
What is Love, actually?
I used to be one of the people that misinterpreted Love. Love just seems a mystical word for an extreme, perhaps irrational, attachment to something.
I used to believe that love means a type of human arrangement for some kind of the desired result. It could be a planned family, a promising future, or a myriad of lustful fantasies. There may or may not work out, but there is no guarantee that “Love, Inc.” will survive.
If someone thinks that love makes you inspired, yes, I agree. Because here’s the thing:
I used to believe that love is used only as a gimmick made up to sell Hallmark cards and chocolate candies on Valentine’s Day.
I used to think that true love is just a fairy tale selling by Disney movies.
In that sense, I used to believe that love is a commodity, something that is provided, exchanged, bought, consumed—always in self-interest, ego, desire, need, and ultimately, based on fear of facing oneself or fear of being alone.
Love, Inc. has been used to cover all forms of self-responsibility, keeping one entertained with dreams and hopes, as if one is not in charge of thoughts, emotions, reactions, and feelings.
From this point of view, I used to despise love.
Little did I know that Love is our basic nature yet most of us look for it in all the wrong places.
My Journey to Understand Love
I recorded the journey how I finally understood what Love is, in this book:
Why We “Suffer” When We “Love“
Lester Levenson, an American Master and the inspiration behind The Sedona Method, frequently said that Love is one of the most often used but misunderstood word in human experience. This misunderstanding leads us to suffer in love.
Suffering in Love is caused by…
1. Almost all people mistake ego approval for Love
Consequently, one continuously needs and demands it. And because it’s not Love, it’s not satisfying. This produces only frustration.
2. People need each other, and they think it’s Love
When we love there’s no hanging on to or fencing in of the other one.
There’s no “longing for” in love because longing is separation.
Love means oneness. When you love, you can never feel separation. There’s no distance because they are right in your heart.
3. We often withhold our Love until they act in ways that meet our approval
When we love people because they’re nice to us, that’s a barter.
When we say, “I love you because you tolerate me; I love you because you make me feel good; I love you because you complete me; I love you because of this and that,” that’s not Love as we treat another as an object. We’re unwilling to love unless someone meets our expectations.
That’s not loving; that’s manipulation.
4. We want love instead of feeling safe to give Love
The fear of rejection is another reason we have a hard time loving people. We put up walls around ourselves to protect us from any more hurt and to buffer the pain we’re sure is to come.
We don’t want to share our love with others but rather want it for our own personal satisfaction.
But again, that’s not Love. Love is not sex, it’s not a body gratification. Love is not domination. And Love is not ownership.
When we want love, we create the opposite, or rejection. Because wanting equates to not having.
The good news is:
Suffering can be the doorway to our personal evolution, to growth and expansion, if we choose to let go of our thoughts and perceptions. When you know what the cause of the suffering is, you’ll discover that you can change that into awareness and find peace and happiness.
True love is unconditional acceptance. When we love someone exactly as they are, it is liberating for us and them, and it feels great too!
Love Equals Sustainable Success and Abundance
The more we develop love, the more we come in touch with the harmony of the universe, the more delightful our life becomes, the more beautiful, the more everything. It starts a cycle going in which you spin upward.
If you read the story about Lester how he’s squaring everything into Love, he shared with us that if we became totally loving, all goals would just drop in by a mere effortless thought.
If we would love all the time, we would achieve a very successful and happy life. Loving totally would amazingly give us all the knowledge we seek.
Because Love is such a high state. Love is power. It’s a cohesive force in the Universe. When you’re loving, you are in tune with the Whole Universe, which is ALL LOVING.
But, what keeps us from loving?
Most of us are holding on to non-love feelings, and we think those will protect us.
But in fact, it causes us trouble.
The very fear of rejection causes us to be rejected.
Anger at one person for something was said causes us to create the same thing over and over again with someone else.
Because remember, your mind is a magnet. If you think of problems, you attract problems. What you focus on expands.
When you love, you feel so happy. And when you’re happy, you’re healthy and prosperous.
Why We Feel Great When We Love
Lester taught me why we feel greatest when we love:
1. Love has no personal angles.
2. Love doesn’t require self-sacrifice.
3. Love is selflessness.
4. Love is acceptance.
5. Love is purity.
6. Love eliminates fear.
7. Love erases anxiety.
8. Love reduces insecurity.
9. Love overcomes loneliness.
10. Love removes unhappiness.
11. Love attracts love.
12. Love flourishes in love.
13. Love is contagious.
14. Love is our basic nature, and it is within us. That is why one does not increase his/her love. One merely gets rid of one’s hate. It is impossible to love one person and hate another person. When we love, we love everyone equally.
15. Love is the answer to all problems.
16. You are the Source of Love – not in your ego-sense, but in that Awareness, Beingness, and Love that You are.
Could you welcome that and allow the Love that You Are to shine?
I’m pretty sure that right now the planet needs this energy more than ever.
Love Is Our Fundamental Nature
And it is not dependent on anything external.
If you’re looking for wholeness in another human being, you’re not going to find it there.
When you think you need someone else to complete you, you’ll be forever wanting and not having. Again, wanting equates to not having.
The more you let go of wanting to get love and completeness from another person, the more you bring love and wholeness to your relationship. It will improve your relationship. I’m talking based on my direct experience.
When you find yourself looking for love outside yourself, allow yourself to give love instead. Be the love that you are.
In my experience, finding a “soul mate” requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach.
Oh yes, I learned this the hardest way.
After going through a rough breakup with this guy who happened to break my heart THRICE — ha! — I learned how to let go of my confusion about love. I learned to connect again with the Love that I Am.
The lovely thing is because Love is such a high state, it automatically will bring up all the apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, and pride, or non-Love feelings, to be cleared. Everything in life is unfolding as it should.
And I allow its magic to unfold within me.
Now I’m immeasurably blessed to get in touch with what Love is.
Loving makes me re-evaluate my beliefs. I found a whole new world opened up for me.
Wholeness and completeness are characteristics of our natural state, which is under all the layers of need and want. If you allow yourself to let go of those layers, you’ll find everything becomes so easy and effortless.
But don’t take my words for this. Simply pay attention to this in your life and let me know your gains in the comments!
New Book: LOVE
Again, you can read more about this in my upcoming book: Love!
This book is a product of my journey to understand what love is. And even in the process of publishing it, I was being tested on how I could give Love to everyone involved.
I am blessed to touch the lives of thousands of women and men with that book.
One of my amazing readers wrote to me:
“Thanks for teaching me this message through your book… I’m the love that I’ve been seeking for… Now I’m loving myself more… I go to the gym, wearing good shirts, eating expensive foods… I love my self now because of you, Adelia… Thanks for everything…”
As a result of letting go, what’s left is only Love. Pure Love without any wants. And I am forever grateful.
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